Thanks Weird Guy...

So...there I sat in my office (slash senior adult lady's Sunday School room) when in walk this elderly fellow that I've never seen before. He stepped into the main office where I promptly heard him ask for the senior pastor. Our senior pastor not being in the office, he was introduced to our outreach pastor, Bro. Roy. Upon introduction, a hearty discussion quickly begin. Being a few doors down I couldn't make out all that was being said, but what I could hear seemed pretty bizarre. So, of course I had to make my way in there to get a better listen.

I went in to the office to "get some coffee" and quietly stepped past Roy who was sporting a rather bewildered look. I poured my joe and then decided to prop up the door jam while I listened to the discussion. It only took me about 30 seconds for my face to contort to the same look of bewilderment as Roy. I honestly still have no clear idea of what that weird guy was talking about. Something about Jesus (but be it known that his idea of Jesus was certainly not the same as my own,) and sin, and humor, and orbs of energy.....seriously, I have no clue.

Anywho, after a few seconds of being at a loss for words, or patience, Roy turned to me and said "what do you think about all this, John Michael?" While trying to give my thoughts on the subject it became pretty clear to me that I really had no idea about what the weird guy was talking about. Being me, however, I continued talking hoping to say something that would appease the air of confusion that was making me a slight degree of dizy. The guy was obviously not satisfied with my answer and with a certian level of aggervation, began to say a lot more nonsense. I figured that if I was going to listen to him, I might as well be comfortable...so, I took my place in the chair that was next to his.

Somewhere along the way he began quoting the verse about "milk & meat" from 1 Corinthians chapter 3. I was fine with that up until the point when he began saying that the verses following go on to say that God will take away His salvation from someone if they sin after conversion. Seeing as there was a Bible sitting next to me on the end table next to me, I politely picked it up and handed it to the man. He ask me angerly what it was for..."I'd like for you to show me those verses," I said. The guy got pretty hacked off and again began quoting Scripture to me, saying that 1 Thessolonians says that I am the one who has to give an answer for the hope that is in me. I told him that actually that verse is in Peter, and then just told him that I was arguing and that I was just unaware of the verses he was talking about. He took the Bible, looked at the spine of it, made a funny face and began to thumb through it (I later found out that he was a hater of all translations that are not KJV.) After a few moments, he took the Bible tossed down on the table, and brushed his hands off as if they were dirty or something. This was an obvious display of his disgust with that particular version (NIV.) I asked him if something was wrong with that Bible, and Roy reitterated that question stating that he had led probably a thousand soilders to the Lord with all manner of versions. I would like to add that the guy never found the verses he was talking about.....b/c they were never there to begin with.

***2 more stories about this guy and this blog is done***

Somehow, the guy segued in to a story about a sick kid in the hospital who was going to die. He said at first he didn't care about him and then he decided that he would "project some positive energy on him." He said that after doin this he saw an image of this boy with "a silver orb of energy wrapping around him." After doing this, he told God that if he was real then how come he could project his engery on the boy and heal him but He couldn't. "IMMEDIATELY," said the weird guy, the silver ord changed to a gold one..."and I knew it was not of this world." Oh yeah, b/c silver orbs of engery floating around people are totally normal...but gold ones, Wow!

About that time Roy got a phone call. I'm sure he was quite relieved. As he stepped in to his office to take the call the weird guy told one final story. He said that the previous week he had gone to a "fellowship." He wouldn't call it a church...or our church a church for that matter. He said he told all the men at the church that He wanted to pray. "I want to pray, HEY, let me pray, let me pray," he said. The men ignored him he told us. Then he said it all over again, only louder and more animated. "HEY, LET ME PRAY, LET ME PRAY. I WANT TO PRAY!" "Finally," he said, "they let me pray. And I told those men that didn't any of them understand anything about the Spirit. And I got up and left." ...........at that........he got up and walked out of our office as abruptly as he came in. Our church secratarty look at me as I sat trying to figure out what had just happened and said with a matter-of-fact face, "We get 'em like that in here from time-to-time."

Oh yeah, also at one point of this 20 minute or so conversation, he told me that if I had read Matthew I would have had known he was coming that day. What?