Cost...

Jess and I leave this Thursday for Missouri to visit the New Tribes Mission training center. It's about a 10 1/2 hour drive one way to get there...can't say I'm looking forward to that. But! It is really exciting to finally be getting started with what we know God has been calling us to for some years now. Lately, however, I've been able to spend a little more time than normal with my dad (certainly more time than last year) and it's been really great. We still argue (we're too much alike not to) but, it's been really pretty cool just being able to "hang out" with him more. The other day we went and worked on my sister's house that she's building and I had the best time just joking around with him. All this extra time with him lately really makes me regret be a turd of a son for the last umpteen years.

Over the year we spent in China, and even now, I've really been wrestling through the Scripture, Luke 9: 57-62. I feel like I pretty well understand this passage, but it hasn't made it any easier to swallow. In the midst of moving to Missouri, and certainly moving out of the country again in a couple years, I'm finding myself asking God why we are called to leave our family. I have a great family...truly, I've been blessed with possibly the greatest family ever and to be honest, had God not called us to foreign ministry I'd be perfectly content staying in Florence, MS, near everybody for the rest of my life. Before my Papaw passed away, especially the last few years of his life, I got to watch my father not just take care of him, but just be there with him pretty much every day. He was there helping him do all things he needed to get done and all the things he wanted and enjoyed doing. My dad is the kind of son I wish I was. His relationship with Papaw was something special. I really want that with my dad...but I know given our calling it may not be a reality.

I pray God grants me that one day, but I know that there are millions of people without a hope of salvation simply b/c there isn't anyone to go and tell them about Jesus. My soul desperately wants to take the Gospel to those people, but I have to admit too that I desperately want to be with my family. These things are certainly conflicting. But...my father raised me to follow my heavenly Father no matter the cost...even if it's him. It's really hard.