At at given moment I feel like I'm going to wake up to sound of my mom's shrill voice "JOHN MICHAEL....TIME TO GET UP...........JOOOOHHHNNN MMMIIIICCCCHHHAAEEELLL!" Argh! I love my mom like crazy, but when she yells it's like one of those veloca raptor things on Jurassic Park. I can still smell my high school cafeteria, and feel that hardened blob of bright green gum against my knee that I could never get off of the underneath side of my desk in 11th grade chem class. Ok...close my eyes...now open!!! Nope still here, still married, still a daddy. This is crazy! Don't read this wrong. I have absolute ZERO desire to revisit my teenage days, but there's just no way that I'm a dad of two little girls (one of which will turn three in just a few short months,) no way I've been married for four years, no way I've bought and sold a house, no way I've lived overseas, worried about health care, actually watched the news to hear about the stock market as if I had some sort of legitimate worries. ......... This is nuts! I'm just John Michael. Pimpled face, knappy hair kid who just sort of is here...that's it. It's hard to look back on the last five or so years of my life and piece together everything that got me to where I am now...sitting on my couch, with my wife and two little girls in the next room over asleep, one month away from moving (for the 8th time of my 4 year marriage) to train for the next 1 1/2 years to be a missionary to unreached tribal people for the rest of my, physically capable, adult life. Seriously!?
After a short break to read over what I've already written and to admire my extreme misuse of ellipses and run-on sentences, I realized that spoken tone could very well be lost in typed text. So "..." let me clarify one thing. I am EXTREMELY happy with my life and where I am today. I have two amazing little girls who make me feel like superman and a wife who is way to pretty to be married to me. I'm truly a blessed guy. My life is just so awkwardly forgiven that I have a hard time believing it's real sometimes.
Monday, December 1, 2008
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